Archive for November, 2006

Don’t vote for Notax!

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Elections are coming up! On my birthday, too!

All political parties that started campaigning were so nice that they gave me ridiculously bad coalitions, slogans and advertisements as my birthday gift. Seriously, I have no other explanation, so lemme point out few that come to mind:

Democratic party of Serbia
(a.k.a. Judean People’s Front)

The party with the incumbent prime minister came up with a slogan, which is in no way populist, “Long live Serbia!” Their main coalition partner will be New Serbia “because of coalition’s previous success on local elections.” I really underestimated Koštunica (our current PM) when I said he was a “master of populist puppetry”.

Democratic party (a.k.a. People’s Front of Judea)

Our biggest democratic party striked us with a rather morbid quote of late Zoran Đinđić: “People, we only got one life!” Aside for obvious theological implications, I’m very dissapointed that a political party has to use images of a dead person (no matter how good a prime minister he was) to promote themselves. It does make me think they don’t have anybody who is good AND has a pulse.

Their campaign started with a proposal to rename Boulevard of AVNOJ to Boulevard of Zoran Đinđić. That would be groovy, if AVNOJ wasn’t the Anti-fascist council of people’s liberation of Yugoslavia. Saving the world from fascism is nice in anyone’s portfolio, so taking away AVNOJ’s boulevard would be like changing a street named after Winston Churchill to carry Margaret Thatcher’s name.

Liberal Democratic Party et al.

I’d like them to get into the Parliament. Their unique non-sloven appearance, realism on Kosovo and no “Long live Serbia” chants, would make them perfect to stir things up a notch. Especially considering people like Petar Luković are on the list (imagine a Feral Tribune’s columnist giving a speech in front of the Parliament!).

But, and its a big but, for some reason they invited demo-christians Vladan Batić and Milan St. Protić to their list. I would hate to vote for somebody who writes his name using middle initials “St.”, but I also think that a civic coalition should NOT, under any circumstances, have a guy who invites a priest to bless the embassy building in Washington on their list.

Serbian Radical Party

Finally, my favorite: their campaign started with the party’s president, Vojislav Šešelj, going on hunger strike in the Internatinal Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia’s prison.

Fat people should not go on hunger strikes.

UPDATE: We just had our first candidate (Mlađan Dinkić of G17+) promise to have a solution that will allow Serbia to keep (or get) sovereignity over Kosovo. Of course, he did not specify his plan, but it seems it involves money.

November 20, 2006 at 11:08 pm 5 comments

Falling mortar

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A friend of mine and I were forced to hide from rain (because we are so fragile we would melt like sugar) in a building entranc the other day. As we discussed the unseasonal weather and how our, otherwise pleasent, evening in the park was ruined, a large piece of mortar** fell from the balcony above.

“Jesus H. Christ*, that thing nearly killed us both!”
– my friend exclaimed something rather similar to that expression, as the piece of mortar has in fact nearly killed us both.

Good, obliging, citizens that we are, still heavily shocked by the falling building, we tried to warn the first lady who walked into the building.
“I wouldn’t worry ’bout it… It only falls when it’s windy, or raining…” – she tried to calm us down.

But we wouldn’t give up. Suddenly, standing out in rain seemed safer than under a “roof”. Still humming Balašević’s “Ako umrem mlad”*** under our breath, we tried to warn other neighbours too.
“So what!? My pension is so small I wouldn’t mind getting killed by the facade!”
“Oh, yes, I heard about that. Only in Serbia can such a thing go on for years! Gotta run.”
“I don’t live here… permanently.”
“It’s been falling since 1994. I think the new constitution bans falling mortar, doesn’t it?”
“No boys, I have no change to spare… Oh, you are not punks!? The balcony is falling? Ha ha, I hope it falls while that bastard is watering his flowers!”

We walked away silently.

* Not the expression he used, but you get the point.
** Mortar is malter, not the gun thing in this context, my Balkanian readers.
*** Lethargic song about death.

November 15, 2006 at 12:16 am 3 comments

Subversive elements

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It seems that, after the referendum, it’s once again us vs. them. Perhaps it is good to get polarized and to put patriots on one side and everybody else on the other (I’m among everybody else, apparently). Dividing issue this time will be Kosovo.

Appropriately, it’s cold and melancholic in Belgrade. I was standing at Hotel Moskva last night, and unzipped my jacket. The cold wind filled my bones and I got so light that the wind blew me right back to Kalemegdan. Three times.

I’ll get back to you all when I gather my thoughts.

P.S. No, I will not be moving to LiveJournal nor am I turning this blog personal!

November 4, 2006 at 9:24 pm Leave a comment


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